I’m Frustrated

Back from my trip sailing around the BVI, where I did almost zero writing because my pen decided to stop working and nobody else had one. I ended up typing a little bit on my phone, but with the added sea sickness, well, I didn’t get much done. I’m disappointed in myself because I lost that momentum I was grasping onto so tightly.

I’m about halfway done ~50,000 words, but that in itself I think is pretty good. Not good enough, but pretty good. I’m getting lost in my own thoughts. My story has seemed to grow into this complex entity I can no longer tame down and control. I’m losing hope.

A part of me wants to scrap the whole thing and forget about it, but I’ve come so far! I’m stuck wondering how painful it’s going to be to try and finish it, and if it would be even worth editing. I like my characters, and that’s really my only saving grace here. I like them enough to want to tell their story. So, I sit at my desk with my head cradled in the palms of my hands and beg for things to start coming together.

Am I the only one whose experienced this dilemma? Should I give it up…no. I can’t give up. If not for anything else, I need to finish this to know that I can finish this…to know that I can try this again and possibly succeed.

Week Three Update

I’m feeling consumed by my story. I wish I had some magic power that allowed me to pull these ideas and characters from my head all at once, and have it come out as a cohesive piece of work. Unfortunately, it doesn’t work that way, and I have this constant tightening in my gut urging me to write. It’s as if my characters’ stories are trapped inside me and they’re begging, yearning to be free, and oh, how I wish it were that easy to let them out! I find I’m thinking about my characters every hour of every day, now. Even if I’m just watching a television show, I’ll see how they react to writsomething, and think to myself, YES! That’s what my character would do! Writing this story has become more than just a goal, it’s become a need, and I love it. I love the way the muscles in my arms tense because my mind is flurrying with words that I need to rush to write down, to try and keep up. It’s an amazing feeling! I can only hope this will help drive me to the end of this project.

To be honest, I’m not even sure what my word count is anymore. I’ve started organizing my scenes into chapters, and creating a more thorough outline. I’ve been pretty consistent, though, still able to write at least 1,000 words per day. I wish I could do more, but for some reason this week wasn’t spectacularly inspiring, and I’m sure there will be more of those.

I won’t be able to share an update on week four because I’ll be out of the country, which means time for writing will also be sparse, but I’ll take the adventure! I’ll be sure to share my progress when I get back! I appreciate the support 🙂

Week Two Completed

Surprisingly enough, I’m still on track!

I won’t lie, this is harder than what I daydreamed it would be when I was twelve or ten, but it’s worth it. I’ve read time and time again these articles from published novelists saying they work a lot more than what they get paid, and I believe it. If a person is a writer, they don’t do it just for the money or the slim chance of fame, it’s for the love of writing! I couldn’t imagine living my life without constantly carrying around the latest book I’m reading, or a small notebook I can secretly scribble thoughts and ideas for stories into. Writing is a passion for me, and I know it’s the same for so many others.

As I’m writing this “book” or whatever it may turn out to be, I often doubt myself. I’ll write a scene, and wonder what point this really has in the story, does it move the plot forward? I’ve possibly wasted days writing scenes I’ll never end up using, but at least I got those thoughts out of the way.

I feel like I’m progressing slowly, and that I could be doing more. I need to push myself the rest of this way because I know I can do this. I can’t imagine doing anything else.

Here We Go…Week One

I can’t believe I’m doing this. I’m terrified out of my mind.

I’m trying to write a novel. For the first time, I’m actually forcing myself to sit down and write for hours on end until I’ve completed something amounting to 100,000 words and makes a little bit of sense as a cohesive story. I’ll have to worry about editing later, of course.

Am I out of my mind? I ask myself this every time I sit at my desk, staring at the blank legal notepad. I’m following my dream, though! I’m attempting to do something, that many will still only imagine. Whether I fail or succeed, at least I’ll know I tried.

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Week One has been completed, and I’m about 10,000 words in, give or take. I originally set a word count goal of 3,333 for myself. Well, that didn’t work out, so, new plan! Sit down and write for an allotted amount of hours each day, even if I can only spit out a 1,000 words a day, it’s still progress. I won’t let myself burnout trying to do too much at the very beginning. I’ll get to the 3,333 word count, eventually.

I’ll be updating my progress every week, but if you’d like to know more of my daily thoughts and frustrations feel free to follow me on Twitter, @byrnewriting.

Wish me luck!

Inspiration

Cheap Traveling Tips?

I’ve been feeling quite restless lately, and the urge to travel abroad has been sitting in the pit of my stomach for years. I’ve found some great websites with volunteer opportunities in different countries, but they still seem quite expensive. I’d love to hear about experiences others have had teaching/ working abroad. I’m still fairly young, and everyone I’ve talked to tells me I should do it before it’s too late. The only thing stopping me is, quite frankly, money. If anyone has any suggestions, or good websites for abroad programs, that would be amazing!

What could be better inspiration than diving head first into a different culture?

Twitter Anyone?

So, it’s been awhile. Paying jobs can really hinder the creative process, and I admire those with the determination and motivation to write no matter what. I need to be more like them. Does anyone have any tips on staying motivated? I’ve started a few stories, but it’s getting harder to finish anything. I hate forcing it, but that’s probably what I’ll end up doing.

In an effort to motivate myself a little more, I’ve started a Twitter account. It is https://twitter.com/byrnewriting if anyone is interested. I imagine most of my future tweets will be a mixture of writing and personal stuff. I love making connections with people, so I thought this would be a great way to do that! Has anyone else found a Twitter account to be helpful?

Comments are appreciated 🙂

To Have an Outline, or to Leave it Behind?

Started writing something really random and new, and it’s suddenly turning into a story that I might actually like. However, I’m not using an outline for it.

I definitely know the benefits of an outline, especially if one is writing a longer piece, but maybe it’s not for me. When I create an outline I know exactly what’s going to happen, and when it will happen. There’s no excitement there for me. I feel like I can’t let my characters grow into their own because I’m directing them too much. Does anyone else ever feel this way, or am I just weird?

I just love the flow of writing when I have no idea what my character will do or say next, but it just comes naturally. It’s all about their reactions for me.

Inspiration

“I knew nothing but shadows and I thought them to be real.” -Oscar Wilde

 

It’s a Part of Me…

I’ve been noticing something lately, and maybe it’s just because I’ve been more open about it, but 99% of the time when I tell someone I write horror I get the response, “but you’re so sweet!”

It’s not a bad response, I am who I am, but does writing horror stories mean I have to be a certain type of person? If I wore darker clothes, and acted a little more socially distant or weird, would they assume that’s the genre I would like? I just never know what to say after I get that response. So far, I just kind of shrug. Has anyone else experienced anything like this?

I recently had a story published on an online magazine, and I posted it to my Facebook. (I will probably add the link to that on this website at some point) I received wonderful responses, and no one (that I know of) seemed surprised, or thought of me any differently. I love writing horror, it’s a part of who I am, as well as, being that sweet girl.